Blah blah blah.

Today I took my Astronomy midterm. I forgot my calculator, so I guessed on a lot of the questions. I honestly probably failed it. I don't care. I feel bad for not feeling bad.

I'm really having to fight through this fog. There are so many times where I just feel like giving up. It's obvious that I'm not making much progress, as almost everything I've written sounds exactly the same. At least I don't make it public any more.

I lied to my dad about where I was this past weekend. He thought I was at Elon, but I was in Greensboro. I told my mom, who told me that I have to tell my dad. I know I do. I didn't even lie because I didn't want him to know I was there— it was just more convenient at the time to have him think I was at Elon when all the bank stuff was happening that to explain in the midst of it how I ended up being somewhere else.

I wish I cared about something. I wish this apathy would go away and that the sun would somehow make it through to me. Because right now, I can't see anything. And it doesn't even bother me. I'm probably going to have awful grades this semester and it doesn't matter to me. I don't feel uptight or nervous about it. It doesn't shock me. I don't feel the need to improve or work harder. I don't feel anything.

There's got to be something more. There's got to be something more.