Thursday, August 21, 2008

What's Under Your Carpet?

Have you ever seen those shows where people remodel their homes or something, and when they pull up the old carpet there are like, McDonald's wrappers and crushed soda cans and stuff underneath? 

Next to my bed there is a lump in the floor. Whenever I walk over it, my mind always says "what is that", even though I've felt it under the carpet a million times. But tonight, oddly enough, it got me thinking. 

Imagine yourself as a house (1st Corinthians 6:19). God is the builder, and He has constructed all that you are, top to bottom, and He has furnished you with basics, internally, that you need to have a relationship with Him. Finally, He gives you the tools you need to continue building the relationship, the things outside of the bare essentials that make the relationship beautiful and stable and full. They are yours to assemble. 

Matthew 13:24-26
      Here is another story Jesus told: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. But that night as the workers slept, his enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat, then slipped away. When the crop began to grow and produce grain, the weeds also grew..." 

Unfortunately, you don't always take care to "lock yourself up" each night. You say "I know how to build this, it's mine! My house, I can do it!" Fool. So one night comes when your door is unlocked and a stranger walks in. He notices your carpet hasn't yet been laid, and as you sleep, he trashes the place. You wake up the next morning to find the place a mess, and frantically you realize that the Builder is coming to note your progress that very day. "If I can just lay down the carpet," you say, "It won't be so noticeable." Quickly you put the carpet into place and arrange the furniture accordingly. He rings your doorbell. 

"Hello! Come in!" you say nervously, as He walks into the foyer and looks around mildly. "You know, I was just getting everything ready as You came..." you hesitate as He steps into the living room. Was that the crunch of a soda can, or are you imagining it? You must be imagining it. At least, He didn't say anything. "I've also been doing some stuff outside, and I think it looks really nice. Would you like to see?" you ask. 

He shakes His head. "No thanks, I'm more interested on the inside. After all, this is where we're going to be meeting, not out on your front lawn." He smiles gently. You're starting to feel a little better; maybe He doesn't know about the carpet. He doesn't seem mad and He's not pressuring you about anything. You relax a little. 

"Alright," you say, "How about sitting down and talking?" You walk over to the couch, and as you move you step on something hard. You wince for a moment, and remind yourself to avoid that spot in the future, because it hurts. Actually, you tell yourself that you'll eventually rip up the carpet and clean everything, but for now you push it aside. "What would you like to talk about today?" you ask once you sit down. He is still standing. He looks at you. 

"How did the rest of your building go?" He asks you. You tell Him it went fine, just fine. You wait for Him to respond. He says, "Did you remember to lock up like I told you?" You stumble a little and say, "Well.... not exactly..... but everything turned out alright. The house is built, isn't that what counts?" He looks sort of sad and you feel guilty immediately, but are too embarrassed to admit what actually happened. You try to bring up a few more things, but the conversations seems more than a little awkward. "You know, I feel a little tired. I think I might lie down for a while," you say. He says ok, tells you He loves you, and leaves. You feel wretched, but not motivated enough to tear up your carpet just yet and do it all over. You're not even sure what's all under there; how long would it take to clean? You might need help, but then you would have to tell Him what really took place. Was it really worth redoing? It's not that bad, is it? But then again, what if whatever is under there starts to rot and stink? That would be hard not to notice.... 


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins

(Chorus)
Mirror, Mirror on the wall
Tell me who's the purest of us all?
Your reflection must
Be a deception
Cuz it shows me as the ultimate rejection.

(Verse 1)
Do you remember the story?
Snow White and her seven little friends—
Well let's fast-forward to today
And I'll make up some new odds and ends. 

She was a kid, trying to make it alone
She was abandoned and no place to call home
Let's say she's caught up
On the wrong side of town
Her precious beauty attracted a disgusting crowd

There was Sleezy and Boastful
And Dopey (or Drugged)
Glutton and Selfish,
Envious and Thug. 

(Chorus)

Would you crack under that pressure?
Crack like a mirror, side to side,
With the knowledge that in some tower
Was an evil Queen just waiting for you to die?

Then what about that last and ultimate temptation,
That Golden Apple is what'll feed your deep starvation
Right? At least you hope
That this will satisfy your soul
Instead it's throwing everything far out of your control. 

And now your broken, and fading,
Your purity is gone
Despairing and drowning
Nowhere to hold on

(Chorus)

And yet the Prince is coming
To kiss the deadness from your lips
He will wipe away transgression
And will catch you, lest you slip
He is robed in shining armor
With a noble steed and sword
He will rectify your purity
Snow White, He's your greatest reward.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Letter Song

(Intro)
Let me write you a letter
Explaining all I need to say—
It might not make sense now,
I don't expect it to today.
But I've stuck it in the mailbox
And I'm shipping it away,
Because in that little envelope 
Is what's causing the delay.

(Instrumental)

(Verse 1)
Dear Friend.
This day reminds me of last year,
We played pretend.
It's another day I lost to fear

Oh Lord, if I have ever failed
Let me know at least that you prevailed

(Chorus)
You've got my doubt wrapped up
In the palm of your hand, the palm of your hand
And all of my fear
It's weird
But I know you're here
God I'll never give up
I'll never give up again.

(Instrumental)

(Verse 2)
Dear brother,
I've never known how to explain
To some other
Why I never said it to your face

Three little words, I love you
Brother, did I ever really show you?

(Chorus)
(Bridge)
When you read these words of mine
I hope you know that it's all right
Oh Lord, if I have failed tonight
God please assure me it's all right. 

Thursday, August 14, 2008

"And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing
Are the same."
-- The Fray

School starts in less that two weeks. Senior year, can you believe it? And then what: the rest of our lives. The rest of my life, the beginning of everything I dream about, the end of what I know, the adventure that erupts with a cloud of graduation and slowly fades with time into glittering memories. Does that sound sentimental? And it hasn't even begun yet! 

I look at it with eager anticipation. This year will be different. The road may be the same but I've got a new spring to my step. I refuse to see it as monotony but to expect it with joy, and accept its stresses with an easy laugh as I learn to put my faith into Christ like never before. God, I can feel you working in me! It's like an unveiling. Of course, what I understand now is nothing to what you would want me to understand; how much I know of you is miserably tiny in comparison to what you could teach me; my faith is lacking on the scales of your expectations, but I grow! Oh, Father, I can grow. So please, beautiful Lord, grow me closer to you, and also to the believers around me, so that I may experience for your glory what it truly means to fellowship with the Body. And as my fellowship with others who seek your face strengthens, let us continually be an encouragement to one another, let us love one another fully, and let us not succumb to pettiness or feel the need to please others, as it takes away from us fully focusing on your will. Lord, allow us to truly become the body of Christ! Not an institution! 

"Institutionalism breeds task-based friendships. As long as you're on the same task together, you can be friends. When you're not, people tend to treat you like damaged goods. Now you know what that's like from the other side and one of the big things Jesus is doing in you now is to free you from the game, so that you can live deeply in him rather than worrying about what everyone else thinks about you."
  --So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore, Jake Colsen (great book! check it out! whether you love going to church or not, it's really eye-opening)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Oswald says (2):

The Holy Suffering of the Saint
    "Let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good..."— 1 Peter 4:19

Choosing to suffer means that there must be something wrong with you, but choosing God's will— even if it means you will suffer— is something very different. No normal, healthy saint ever chooses suffering; he simply chooses God's will, just as Jesus did, whether it means suffering or not. And no saint should ever dare to interfere with the lesson of suffering being taught in another saint's life. 

The saint who satisfies the heart of Jesus will make other saints strong and mature for God. But the people use to strengthen us are never those who sympathize with us; in fact, we are hindered by those who give us their sympathy because sympathy only serves to weaken us. No one better understands a saint than the saint who is as close and as intimate with Jesus as possible. If we accept the sympathy  of another saint, our spontaneous feeling is, :God is dealing too harshly with me and making my life too difficult." That is why Jesus said that self-pity was of the evil (see Matthew 16:21-23). We must be merciful to God's reputation. it is easy for us to tarnish God's character because He never argues back; He never tries to defend or vindicate Himself. Beware of thinking that Jesus needed sympathy during His life on earth. He refused the sympathy of people because in His great wisdom He knew that no one of earth understood His purpose (see Matthew 16:23). He accepted only the sympathy of His Father and the angels (see Luke 15:10). 

Look at God's incredible waste of His saints, according to the world's judgment. God seems to plant His saints in the most useless places. And then we say, "God intends for me to be here because I am so useful to Him." Yet Jesus never measured His life by how or where He was of the greatest use. God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be. 

http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Brought to you by the letter "G"

WHY DOES GOD ALWAYS GET LEFT OUT OF THE CONVERSATION?

I mean honestly. I've noticed it more and more. Whenever I bring up the "G word" conversation dies. Even with my "Christian" friends! Or there's a topic change. Or an awkward pause, a slight address, and then we're moving on. It's so frustrating! 

"Hey"
How are you?
"Well I'm struggling with [blank]..."
Oh, well [tons of advice]. Anything else?
"Sort of. I'm also struggling with God."
[Silence. Then...] So what else is new? 

"Dude, what's up? I haven't talked to you in so long!"
Hey! Yeah, I've been around [blah blah].
"Cool. What have you been up to?"
Eh, not much, you?
"This and that, it's been interesting. What's been on your mind?"
Well I've been doing a lot of thinking...
"About what?"
College and stuff...
"Oh yeah! [blah blah blah]"
And God. Aren't you Catholic?
[Silence. Then...] "Uh, yeah... so do you want to go shopping tomorrow?" 

This is aggravating. God, how long have I ignored you when others brought you up in conversation? How many times have I done the exact same thing? Forgive me, Father! Let me always be eager to speak of you and discuss your character with others! Lord, it is irksome that as I grow with you I can't talk to even my good friends about it. Am I doing it wrong? Or is this just part of the process? 

Monday, August 4, 2008

Hill Country

This is so much harder than I anticipated. Shame on me. 

So God, I just want to clear up some things with you. You see, I've never been to the hill country before. This is new terrain for me. I mean, I've been living on the beach my whole life, and I thought that life would be easy with you. Sure, some days it rained, and sometimes my house got a little bit flooded out, but I was so used to sunny and 75. Everyone around me agreed with me. They told me that the walk wouldn't be easy, but it seemed pretty easy to me. And it didn't look difficult for them either. So we were all together, on the beach, telling each other it would be hard to walk but never actually walking. We thought we were walking, but we weren't. We were just talking about it. 

Then one day you sent me a letter inviting me to stay with you for a while in the hill country. At first I was confused, because I thought you lived on the beach. When I showed the letter to some of my neighbors, they sort of hemmed and hawed about it and shrugged it off. So I packed up and left. My neighbors, I think they thought I was sort of weird to leave the beach. But I wanted to see if you really did live in the hill country. 

It took me a while to get started. The road was uneven and unpaved. I had to pass some friends as I left, and it was awkward. I didn't want to leave them. I wanted them with me, but I couldn't force them to come with me, because they were happy at the beach. Maybe you sent them letters, too, telling them to stay there. I don't know. I still don't want them behind. But I don't know what you're doing with them, and I can't question you. So I keep walking. 

Now that I'm walking, it gets harder and harder. I've started to reach some of the foothills and I'm stumbling a little. It's weird out here, and disillusioning. I have to look twice at my surroundings because it's all unfamiliar to me. Every time I look back I trip over something in front of me on the road. And as I look ahead I see these terribly looming mountains. They scare me. Do you live in them? On top of them? This is so different from the beach. On the beach it was all flat land and I could see clearly all around me for miles. But now there are so many obstacles and my vision is limited. Sometimes I'll see other people traveling, and sometimes I'm even lucky enough to have some conversation with them, but they're on their own journey, and I'm on mine, and I understand that. 

Something I'm grappling with is the difficulty and humility this journey to your house requires. The concept that you want me to struggle is foreign to me. Having some one tell you that you are going to suffer for Christ is very different than actually suffering. It's like someone describing light to someone who has lived in the dark their whole life. It's not something you can describe; what would you say? Or trying to describe red to someone who is color blind. How would you do it? It's impossible to understand until you experience it. 

Yet perhaps, in that case, we suffer so that we may know You. How can we know You until we suffer like you? But at the same time, I look at people who have disorders, like my dad, or anorexia, or mental disabilities, or who are emotionally or physically abused, and I want to turn into a mass of tears and ask you "How can you let this person go through this? How is this helping? What happened to your compassion?"  I am unworthy to ask these questions, I know. Maybe if I had real faith I wouldn't ask. Maybe if I weren't so weak I could trust you more. I don't know anymore. I just keep walking and stretching my legs. I can tell I'm not in shape because it burns. Maybe I never was in shape. "No pain, no gain", right? Well, I'm exercising now, aren't I?

God, why do I keep failing people? And why have you made me so that I always take the fall for others? Why is it wrong to ask why? Why does it signify a lack of faith? Why am I ALWAYS wrong? Why do I always take the blame, and why does it feel sort of satisfying? 

"I need you like a hurricane
Thunder crashing wind and rain
To tear these walls down
I'm only yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wildfire untamed
To burn these walls down
I'm only yours now
I'm only yours now."
   --"Hurricane" Jimmy Needham

(Please, don't leave thoughtless comments. Pray first.)

Oswald says:

The Brave Friendship of God
"He took the twelve aside..."—Luke 18:31

Oh, the bravery of God in trusting us! Do you say, "But He has been unwise to choose me, because there is nothing good in me and I have no value"? That is exactly why He chose you. As long as you think that you are of value to Him He cannot choose you, because you have purposes of your own to serve. But if you will allow Him to take you to the end of your own self-sufficiency, then he can choose you to go with Him "to Jerusalem" (Luke 18:31). And that will mean the fulfillment of purposes which He does not discuss with you. 

We tend to say that because a person has natural ability he will make a good Christian. It is not a matter of our equipment, but a matter of our poverty; not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a matter of natural virtues, of strength of character, of knowledge, or of experience— all of that is of no avail in this concern. The only thing of value is being taken into the compelling purpose of God and being made His friends (1 Corinthians 1:26-31). God's friendship is with people who know their poverty. He can accomplish nothing with the person who thinks that he is of use to God. As Christians we are not here for our own purpose at all— we are here for the purpose of God, and the two are not the same. We do not know what God's compelling purpose is, but whatever happens, we must maintain our relationship with Him. We must never allow anything to damage our relationship with God, but if something does damage it, we must take the time to make it right again. The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the surrounding influence and qualities produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to give our attention to, and it is the only thing that is continually under attack.