Most of you know by now that when I observe my relationships with people I see a vine connecting us. The thicker and shorter the vine, the closer I am to you; likewise, visa versa. And it has occurred to me that, after numerous observations, shortcomings, and experiences, this is the root of almost any and every given heart disease.
Let's go back to the beginning; that is, the very beginning. All the way back to Eve. When she, and in turn Adam, ate the apple (or pomegranate, whatever), God separated them from Himself. It was the ultimate severance of the first and strongest vine in history. The result was heartbreaking, and Adam and Eve found themselves with a limp, gnarled knot of what used to be a fruitful, life-giving thread between them and the Creator. And I believe that as a result of this, because God and the first humans He lovingly made suffered this first tragedy before any other suffering, it is the seat of all present discomfort and anguish. Our relationships are the things that will affect us most in life, and those is discord will cause the greatest pain (and I use that term flexibly).
Did God not feel such pain because He loved Adam, because He loved Eve? Did Jesus not submit to crucifixion because of the relationship He desired with us, because He loved us? And we in turn have the same burden and desire. The same flame resides in us, longing to have deep and intimate bonds with those surrounding us. Is it not the truth, then, to say that the hardest thing to do is put out a fire, and try to rekindle the saturated wood?
On the other hand, why do we allow ourselves to go through such anguish at our own expense for the sake of another? Why is it that we continue to stumble, reaching out helplessly to clasp one another's hands, striving for understanding and compassion when we know we will be let down repeatedly? Why do we put ourselves through it? God, you made us creatures of love. There must be nothing else like it, judging by what we subject ourselves to.
If there was ever anything I could ask for, give me understanding. Let this love you have created throttle through my veins like liquid fire, illuminating the dark in me, emanating out into the lives of others even if it returns to be no more than a spark and I am left gasping for oxygen. Water these vines of mine and multiply them; nourish them so that they may become like tree trunks; let them bear the fruits of the Spirit.
What does our vine look like? Tell me. What can I do to nurture it?
3 comments:
aw, I love this! It's soo good! And so true! You, my friend, are a marvelous writer. :)
And dinner Friday sounds good.
You are an amazing writing.
I love reading your thoughts and feelings. :D
I miss you.
I love you.
beautiful!
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