Sunday, August 30, 2009
I had no idea it was going to be this difficult. God, I just want to know that you have a plan for me! PLEASE, just tell me you have something and that I'm not in this for nothing. Please wrap me up in your embrace and let me know that you love me! I NEED you, Father, I CAN'T do this. Who am I without you, God? Restriction, restriction, I see it being set into motion even now. God, my heart is grieving. I am alone here, but I don't say that to complain, but to shock it into my own system. You are all I have here. Oh, God, You are all I have here. The soup in my mouth tastes vile and I can hardly make my throat work enough to swallow it; I'm choking and my eyes are stinging and my face is wet. I want to be where you are, God. God? Please. I love you and I have to get out of the boat. I have to follow you. I have to accept this burden. I have to understand that I'll never understand— You are God, and I am not. But don't leave me, Father, don't forsake me. I want to rip out my heart and throw it at your feet because I can't stand how it's hurting me, how it's aching in me. Father I hate time. I HATE TIME. I don't want to wait I don't want to wait I don't want to wait. Please, God, give me patience! Please! Soothe me, Father, speak tenderly to me, help me to raise up my hands and rejoice in every season. You are STILL God. I am weak, Father, weak, but you are strong. Please, please, I beg for peace. Your true and unfailing peace, that transcends all understanding. Even in the tempest, I ask for your peace. When I am in turmoil and I cannot see or feel and I feel numb and on fire, I ask for your peace. Guide me through this maze. I will follow you. I have nothing else here. I love you. But help me to love you more and more and more. Please.
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8 comments:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9 (ESV)
" We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God..."
2 Cor 1:8-9 (NLT)
code was bright. slightly disappointing ;)
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."
2 Cor 4:7-10 (ESV)
blory...much better
What is going on, girl..? Those words sound like something so familiar that I didn't think would ever even begin to affect you..
My heart is burdened for you and I'll be praying for you.
Consider it pure joy my brothers when we face trials of many kinds...
You know the rest...
God has been putting me through soo much lately and I'm being cleansed and purified...but cleansing isn't always easy and sometimes it hurts, a lot of times it hurts a lot. But He has to so we can come out better and cleansed and clear.
Idk if that helps, but I pray God gives you direction and vision. Never give up, girl.
"We sweat in training so we don't bleed in battle."
Passionately suffer, my friend. I love you.
He is the LORD of the Storm.
you suck. stop crying about life. life is only as hard as you make it.
I'm praying for you. I can relate <3
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