Lost and Found

So, in Orr's AP Lit class, we did these free-write things. And one time, I wrote something about The Great Gatsby, and he kept it, and all I got was a photocopied version back. I found it today in my desk drawer.

"There is a gap in human nature that rests uneasily between the things a person knows and what they only have the power to imagine. It is deep, wide, and fretful— many extraordinary and unfortunate men have allowed themselves to fall, subconsciously, into its blanketed jaws. It is a state at which one becomes fully aware of what he possesses, and what he does not. Of what lies as a necessity, and what presents itself as a means of life within its appearance of necessity, that captures a mans soul and hunts him as prey, making him shift restlessly and seek, in most cases, eternally. Here, in this ravine, a man may become oblivious, even ignorant, and is bound hand and foot to lie in this hole until satisfaction does, or perhaps sadder still, does not, arrive.

If such a man stuck in this gap there ever was, he would be called Gatsby. His face would be pleasant, but somehow, dry. For his mind would be beyond whomever he was with, or wherever he was— he would be a man with a purpose that could never be fulfilled, for how does one close the intangible rift between the throes of ravaging desire and the dissatisfaction of material surplus?

[There is no man truly living who would contend to believe he has no purpose. Even those sunken in the depths of their gap have the most torturous destiny to be reconciled. So it somewhat stands to reason that those who overcome will save their life, while those who let themselves be overcome, will lose it.]

Perhaps it is unnecessary to single out one man versus another when discussing human nature in detail. However, it is imperative to agree that, like Gatsby, there will always be those who extract, who exhale, who emphasize and enlarge every aspect or the soul to the point where the very air around them cackles and snaps with a melancholy, sweet, electric vitality, that can and should remain forever a mystery to the average soul.

This exemplary personality is created within the gap. It sets a man apart, raises him above the social standard to the point of vast admiration, but leaves him very desolate, very hungry, and very lonely. He has given up his free will to it, and there alone, until the end, he shall suffer."

When I reread it, it's very broken. My thoughts don't connect at all, and it really doesn't make sense. I wonder what I was thinking when I wrote it.