I got accepted to UNC Chapel Hill. I've been looking at facts and figures, filling out FAFSA's and printing out scholarships, checking out dorm rooms and trying to get everything organized. My dad and I sat down for six hours today, just working the system. Crazy stuff.
It's late, which means that my imagination is just getting started. I don't care whether this gets read or not— I simply must let out this glorious explosion of feelings inside me into words, into English, into future-tense. When I close my eyes I see beautiful things, wonderful places. I see blue skies that are so bright and crystalline that they make my eyes water simply imagining them. I see wide fields so green that they're like fresh dill or celery, crunchy and bittersweet, smelling of the earth and something alive and present. Have you ever opened yourself up to it? And I mean really, truly let down your guard and let your senses overwhelm everything around you? I can hardly breathe enough to explain it; it's like letting God awaken all of the musty things inside of me that get trapped up by daily routines and rituals, and things just sort of get swept out so that everything is refreshed, renewed, and clean. Goodness, have you ever thought of the billions and trillions of stars out there? Galaxies and force fields and planets and eternity. How are we the only ones? And here we are on this little planet, thinking that we matter, thinking we're important. How ridiculous! Right now I'm smelling daisies and roses and I'm sitting in the shade of some fragrant pine tree, and there's a wind whispering into my ear and it's so delightful. There's a salt smell because the ocean is nearby, and in the distance you can hear birds and something magnetic that's pulling you in, pulling you deeper, and you can't resist it. It's too good, too pure. It's the best memory you've ever had, playing through your mind. There's music playing that's sweet and soothing, and you close your eyes and listen to it's shades. There are colors dancing and waves crashing and the sun is warm, warm, and delicious against your skin. Yellow is all around you and blue and it's invigorating! Just wrap yourself in it. Angles are singing, you're dancing under these pine trees, God is good, oh so very good. Things are how they should be, whole and together. Maybe this is worship. Oh, worship!
2 comments:
You bless me, just by breathing.
Your existence blesses me.
I would bring you everywhere I ever go just to watch your inner poet and to read what it wrote. My dear polar opposite in so many things, we are kindred spirits. We are a perfect example of the body of Christ, because you perform a different function than me. You're the ears, you make the most beautiful words and it blesses people to hear those words. You're an auditory learner, you're a poet, you're a writer, it's entwined in you which just shows how inclusive God is, weaving your personality like a spider.
WHEN, not if senora Karen Weeks, you go to Mexico, document it. I want to see it the way you see it. I want to see someone else think it was beautiful. Frilly adjectives are plain on my lips, but you are a master writer, and I know you can capture it, whereas the majesty of Mexico leaves me speechless. The best justice I could do for it would be to play soccer with dirty, shoe-less kids, pick them up in the air and run around while they giggle and scream and we waste a glorious day in poverty. I guess it's the tactile-ness God weaved into me.
I only intended to write You bless me. :)
I love you, I learn from you, you knock the words out of me.
You write beautfiully. :)
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