It's A Small World After All

"I step out onto the busy street

See a girl and our eyes meet

She does her best to smile at me

And hide what's underneath. 

There's a man just to her right

Black suit and a bright red tie

Too ashamed to tell his wife

He's out of work, he's buying time.

All those people, going somewhere,

Why have I never cared? 

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing 

Give me your love for humanity.

Give me your arms for the brokenhearted

The ones that are just beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see."

      --"Give me your eyes" Brandon Heath

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It's hard to write whatever it is you're feeling when you're blog is public to EVERYTHING you want to write about. A blog is suppose to bring freedom to the writer, in a sense, but all it really does is give the reader the ability to become offended and assume and really, all in all, restricts the writer from writing about whatever he or she wants because she has to think about all the potential viewers. 

There are days when my flesh wants to eat me alive, if that makes sense. I'm so tired of trying to figure out what I'm "suppose to be". What college am I suppose to go to? What am I suppose to major in? What kind of scholarships do I match the criteria for? What friends should I have? Where do I draw the line? God: this is so hard. And it's summer! It's not suppose to be hard! Right? 

Actually, I really don't care about readers right now. I am just going to talk to myself. Childish me. 

This is what has been going through my mind: 

1) College, majors, potential future careers, scholarship opportunities. 

2) God. I need to put Him first but I am going to be honest and show you and the world that the first thing that came to my head was college and not God. There's problem numero uno. 

3) My relationships with others, and potential relationships. I am a "pour-er out-er". And I want to be able to give myself equally to everyone and I can only do that with so many people before I stretch too thin. I want to be nice and friendly to everyone, of course. But I am realizing that I can only have a small group that I can really give myself to. ¿Comprendé? 

4) I love my family. My daddy just had surgery today. Pray for him. 

5) I am concerned for my friend and her friend. I'm not sure which one I'm concerned for more. 

6) Raquel: thank you again for coffee and forgiveness and a listening ear. 

7) I've been really, really getting into Bible history and such lately. Theology? It's so cool. 

8) Ashton I love you girl. Your new friendship is beyond words. 

Lalalalalalalalala. 

Luke 2:19

"... but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often." (NLT)

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." (NIV)

"Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself." (Message)

Some things you just can't let go of. They can be thoughts or ideas, or, as in Mary's case, miracles. Perhaps, sometimes, they can be teachings. Laws. Sermons. Some things can't be taken for granted. You have to examine them. Why did Mary wonder at the angel's message, the shepherds stories, the kings and their gifts? Why didn't she just immediately accept them? I mean, it was an angel! It was kings! It was shepherds who had traveled very, very far just to see her baby boy! 

What you listen to, talk about, see, do, hear, watch, whatever, is going to do one of two things: it's either going to pull you away from God or draw you to Him. There is no in between, no alternative, and no luke-warm. There is hot or cold. 

Luke 11:23 "Anyone who isn't with me opposes me, and anyone who isn't working with me is actually working against me." (NLT)

There is a great need to determine what is truth and what is lie. What is prophesy and what is heresy. What is good and what is evil, what is moral and what is immoral, what to run to and what to run from. Arm yourself! Strive to learn! Because the more you know of the Lord, the less likely you are to fall to false teachings or unhealthy circumstances. Of course I say this as much to myself as to anyone else. Mary knew. Mary understood the importance of asking God what the truth was, the importance of following God instead of getting caught up in the whirl-wind of shepherds tales and kings gifts. Man. Especially today, how much to we need to realize the truth! 

Dark Knight and a Darker Night

I'm not sure if you've heard of the movie "The Dark Knight", but I went and saw it tonight with some friends. It's a sequel of a previous Batman movie (which I didn't see) and the basic plot line is this: Batman must play the role of the good outcast, perpetually the savior, trusting people's good nature, to defeat the evils of insanity and indifference, or the Joker. 

About a thousand Christian parallels are swarming like bees through my mind right now; however, I am not going to take the time to point them all out. Yet there is something I would like to mention. 

The scariest sort of person is the person who has nothing to lose. No fear of death or consequence, no care towards someone or emotional baggage, nothing monetary or spiritual in which to make them human. How can a hero defeat an apathetic enemy, who thrives off of chaos and makes no rules, lives by no plan, and leaves everything to chance? Or perhaps a better question would be, is this person even "human" anymore? 

Indeed, what is it that personifies us? What is it that grounds us, makes us vulnerable, propels us to believe in good and love and justice? What part of the conscious or psych connects us to our instincts? Is it a switch that can be broken under the cruelest of circumstances, and in that case forever dooming us to a life between something human and something almost demonic? 

For a Christian, a Disciple, Christ is the switch. Christ becomes our center, our clarity, Christ overshadows us in that we are no longer alone. Christ is our magnetic jacket that pulls forth our hopes and aspirations, that creates our sense of law and regulation; He is our ground on which we can say "I know how to be. I know what it is to feel love and compassion; I know what it is to live and be human." Christ becomes our argument when we are pulled at by the Joker. "People are all the same," he hisses, "Desperate, greedy, selfish." 

"This may be," you reply, "But it is no longer I, but Christ in me, which makes me whole." 

I will forever believe that people are born desiring to be good. That somewhere, as God tugs at there hearts, so does His sense of righteousness. And sometimes, it comes through. And sometimes, it is overpowered by the passions of sin. Yes, we are born sinners with sinful desires at times. But at the climax, at the root of everything, if pressed to the very wire I have to believe and cannot imagine otherwise that a person will not have something inside of them saying "do the right thing." 

A person himself cannot be satan. Only satan can be satan. But a person can be so reborn in Christ as to become part of the holiness, to become Christ-like. It is our calling for human nature to become Christ-nature. Maybe that is the instinct of goodness. I don't know. I'm not even sure what I'm talking about or if it makes the slightest sense. But of one thing I am certain, and that is that all will be righted through Christ, and human nature will continue to believe that justice will prevail.