Number It Down

All of these are friendships, nothing more. 

1. I think it could work but you are quiet. You don't see good things about yourself. I want to help but I can't. We both know it. But I still think if there is still "try" it could turn into something beautiful. I want this. 

2. I am having trouble with you. I don't know where you're coming from or what you want. You, too, are quiet. I want it badly. I am pushing forward but I don't see your boat coming in yet. I keep thinking I see it, but then it slips away. 

3. I like you, I have no problems with you. We are chill and I am thankful for that. 

4. You, as well, are thankfully firmly steady with me. We go back farther than the others, perhaps? I wish you were around more often. 

5. You are the sky with me. Most of the time it is blue skies and seventy-five, but it's like Florida and these berserk rain storms hit. Idk how much of a roller coaster I can take. But you can't have a world without a sky, so.  

6. I need more time with you. I enjoy you very much. I am not good enough for you. Sheesh, you are practically perfect. I am sorry about earlier. But that was not the time nor place. 

7. Oh, you would have no problem solving issue with me. You like to say it and I'm glad for that. If we are/were ever not chill, you hide it incredibly well. But that's not your style. Thank goodness. 

8. You need to be closer. I think we could have awesome conversation. You arouse my curiosity. I see you as a half-moon, because I only see the bright shiny part, but I know there has to be the other half somewhere. 

9. Lauren, why must you live so far away? My sister, my friend, my closest companion, I need you to be here. I hope to see you this summer so badly. You always understand. I don't even need to say anything, but you know. 

10. Mmm, I don't know how to say this. I appreciate you greatly. I am not as good a friend to you as you are to me and I am sorry. So sorry. Sorry for snapping. But I can't lean on something that isn't whole yet itself. 

11. You need to be closer as well. I miss your attitude and sarcasm and little joys and talking. Not that it could be again, ever. I am glad for technology. I like you, of course, and have no problems that I know of. Not that it's possible yet, being younger. 

12. I need You. You always listen, always forgive, always want to hang out. I could spend every second of every day with you if I wanted, so why don't I? You love me unconditionally... why do I use You as a last resort? Me and You are on and off, I play with fake and real with You and I hate myself for it. I will change this. I will change this. 

(Don't think. Don't assume. Don't even try.)

The Wreckage

Let's put it in drive.  Let's put it in reverse.

Take a look at it all in slow motion Fast forward till you can barely see

The upcoming disaster caught The fatal one-on-one

In the teeth of the commotion.  That'll bring you to your knees.

Only seconds to correct mistakes The impact was so strong in the end

Slam on your breaks What time could never mend

For as long as it takes Was forced to finally bend

And watch with mounting agitation  Due to the force of the collision

The final piece of the equation With no space for intermission

Make the world stop it's rotation Ripped wide open, the incision 

You cling to every flotation It was all on your own volition 

Device that's around Glass exploding in your face 

Until your feet hit dry ground Head snaps forward, then back

And your mouth is open wide Into place at a sickening pace

But you're not uttering a sound.  Memory loses it's trace. 

Sing-along, sing-along, Sing-along, sing-along

Merrily we row along Listen to my rhyming song

Merrily, we're going strong, By the cradle, Mother Goose

Hold hands now, we swing around Goes through my head as

Around the rosy, all fall  Time breaks loose, and shuts

Down.  Down. 

Easter Sunday