Faith and Desire

I'm in my living room and it feels like fall, because the window is open next to me and cool air is coming in enough to give me goose bumps. Dusk is my favorite part of the day. I'm not cold though— I'm wearing a jacket two sizes too big, striped with a big hood, and it has a faint, spicy scent that tingles my nose pleasantly, like a memory. Mom says, you know you have to give that back. I say, I know... but not yet.

Eight days left of high school.

If there's something I've been awakened to, it's the fact that my future lies open before me, much like the ocean we stood on early Saturday morning. I'm waiting for my sun to rise and break through the clouds, and I'm impatient. I have to pray for patience. There is so much in my vision and the light is breaking, reflecting off of planets and illuminating the moon that has for so long governed my skies... but now the sun is coming up, and life is going to begin. Really begin, and I'm terribly excited.

God: You've got me. You've got me and you've given me a glimpse. Just a glimpse but Father, that's all I need. And I am UP and RUNNING in that direction, Lord. This summer, this fall, college, internship, Bosnia missionary possibility (!), 5th Floor Ministries, riding the Train to the cabin without insulation, Master's degree, semester abroad in a Hispanic country, National Geographic, presidential speech writer, oh man oh man oh man! And there's people who are asking me about you all over the place. I can't go to a single class (literally) without someone challenging my faith or asking me questions or setting up debates. It's insane-crazy and it's preparation. I'm ready. Or I'm not ready but I'm ready to be ready. Mhmm. I am not content in my relationship with you but I am content to keep striving, you know?

Oh, hallelujah for a future in Your hands.

Let's do this thing right.