I mean honestly. I've noticed it more and more. Whenever I bring up the "G word" conversation dies. Even with my "Christian" friends! Or there's a topic change. Or an awkward pause, a slight address, and then we're moving on. It's so frustrating!
"Hey"
How are you?
"Well I'm struggling with [blank]..."
Oh, well [tons of advice]. Anything else?
"Sort of. I'm also struggling with God."
[Silence. Then...] So what else is new?
"Dude, what's up? I haven't talked to you in so long!"
Hey! Yeah, I've been around [blah blah].
"Cool. What have you been up to?"
Eh, not much, you?
"This and that, it's been interesting. What's been on your mind?"
Well I've been doing a lot of thinking...
"About what?"
College and stuff...
"Oh yeah! [blah blah blah]"
And God. Aren't you Catholic?
[Silence. Then...] "Uh, yeah... so do you want to go shopping tomorrow?"
This is aggravating. God, how long have I ignored you when others brought you up in conversation? How many times have I done the exact same thing? Forgive me, Father! Let me always be eager to speak of you and discuss your character with others! Lord, it is irksome that as I grow with you I can't talk to even my good friends about it. Am I doing it wrong? Or is this just part of the process?
2 comments:
It's guilt. When you know you aren't right with Him and you know that you're not seeking the way you should, you don't want to talk about it. Even when you aren't completely sure of it, you don't want to talk about it because you get that achey feeling in your heart and that rotten feeling in your stomach because you KNOW that something isn't right. So you ignore it and do your best to try to forget because when you can't remember, you can't remember that you're empty, either.
I won't speak for anyone but myself, so when I do that in a conversation I do that simply because I live in the "here and now"s too much. I guess thinking about my place with God in life always needs improvement, and in the world we live in, it is just too easy to say "ok, w/e".
for me, it is just apathy, yes, my walk has been getting better, but when I talk with others about God I feel like I just made an inappropriate joke.
I will try to work on it, and yea, I feel the same way when I try to start a lfe giving conversation, so when you feel the need around me, I will try to not feel as awkward or apathetic.
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