I am so tired. This week has been the weirdest, scariest, and most tiresome week in a long time. I don't remember having a time like this since the beginning of last February. I hate to write only to complain, though. But it's like this week never ends. I worked last night from five to close after school, got home at 11:45, got to bed around 12:30, and got back up this morning at 5:45 to wash my uniform, because I have to be back to work by 8. Then I work until 2:30, and spend the rest of the day trying to get all of my homework done and start on my junior paper, which is due on the 10th and I haven't even thought about it. Tomorrow is church all day, and maybe Starbucks in between if I'm lucky. Then it's Monday and I do it all over again.
I am sure, for whoever reads this, that you have felt this way a few times (perhaps many times) over the past couple months. And you may say, "well Kristina, what did you expect? Cest la vie- It is life." Life. How joyous it sounds now that I know that these endless weeks just keep going.
Yet despite all this, I am anxious for tomorrow. I am hopeful; I rely on God for strength, peace, and more than that, joy and contentment. There is always hope, for I believe that God has us here for more than to run ourselves ragged, more than to be sad, more than to despair.
"Whatever I've gotta be
I'll be for you,
Whatever you need from me
To see you through,
Every one of us has stumbled
Everybody's humbled,
We hit the ground and our lives crumble.
Whatever I've gotta be
I'll be for you,
I'm for you."
-- tobyMac "I'm For You"
2 comments:
Yup, I've felt that way on many occasions. Welcome to the rat race we call life :0)
I get discouraged and sometimes resentful that everyday is just like the previous. Then I realize that this is where God wants me, right here doing the same thing day in and day out. I can bring Him glory by packing lunches, cooking breakfast, doing laundry etc. So I'm rejoicing in the fact that I can glorify God by doing the ordinary, mundane tasks that no one else really notices, but He does.
You're right I dont think God has us here to run ourselves ragged either. I think He wants us to bring Him glory in whatever we do.
This week you'll go to First Wednesday, and it'll be a more raw form of God than on Sunday mornings. You'll go to Starbucks with people who love you, to drink coffee and delight in each other's lives. You and I will get together.
And between those times, God will soothe you. With the Word, with music, with a nap, with a note from a friend, with Christmas lights on the way home from work, with tasty holiday food, with jokes so funny they hurt. God's love for you is astronomical. He sees how divine you are and delights in it. Life really can't be mundane, even when it feels like it. There's more than the exhausting routine, you feel it, you know it as well if not better than I do.
I'll ask Him to give you clarity and motivation with your paper, because those are the things that are hard to have. That you'll find your topic, that it'll be sound and easy to be thoroughly researched and written. I'll ask that the days you work form around the days you do your paper, and that when you're not doing those things, that you are resting in His gorgeous divinity. He is your Rescuer, from overwhelming and bitter circumstances and whack schedules. He is your Saftey, He is your Strength, He is your Courage, He is your Love. And your friends, we are a much less perfect form of His beauty and His interest in you. He pursues you, so go to Him instead of anything else.
I adore you and learn from you more than anyone could ever learn from me, ever.
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