Exhaust Fumes

It's not even a month into the school year. 

Kristina=stress=work=school=stop or else. 

Working four nights a week, two Bible studies, Mosaic club, senior project, who's my advisor, where do I find time to go to Wilmington to hang with my mentor?, tutoring freshman, trying to raise money for hurricane Ike victims, homework and studying, looking at working with raquel=spending time at the elementary school, birthday parties, makeup tests, chemistry project, struggling in chemistry and math already, college essay and apps, running too many little errands that take up time, picking up jeff from wrestling, filling my gas tank (fifty bucks!!), church all day sunday, quiet times?, crying in Mrs Pearce's classroom [embarrassing], crying at work [even more embarrassing], geez this is so frustrating...  

it's only thursday i'm falling asleep in class why do i do this to myself? Martha, martha, martha...

"I am the comfortable, secure, 

Definition of this western world

And I have it perfected, it seems, 

Even I believe I'm above saving. 

...

It takes me falling to the ground

To admit to finally needing you

...

How come it takes so much

To bring me to my knees

Why does it take so much

Pain for me to see

I know that strength is found when

I am on my knees

Why is it so hard to

Show that I am weak?"

Barlowgirl "Song for the Broken" 

"Sweet Revenge" BarlowGirl

Did you see that I was hurt?

Did you know that you had left me crying there?

Now I'm holding all your words close

Till you feel this pain too

You live on so unaware

While I thought somehow this hate would heal me

But this hate is never ending

And it's only killing me

Oh sweet revenge you've lied again

I find I 

Can't get free

Till I release this vengeance that I seek

Forgive you

The only thing

I wanna live

I'm ready to be free. 

Maybe you've been wounded too

Maybe all this is your self protection

All the hurts you thought were hidden

All the ones now hurting me

Who will make this pattern end?

(Chorus)

I wanna break this chain. 

I wanna see this through

Cuz setting you free

It means my freedom too... 

(Chorus) 

September

Oh, September, can you hear the wind?

It's pounding on the door,

And pulling at my skin,

Oh, September, can you smell the rain? 

It's dripping down the window,

And smudging up the panes. 

September, please oh please, 

Why do this to me? 

You fill me with this aching for the fall. 

September, are you listening?

I know that you're passing,

But your smell's intoxicating to us all. 

Your friends have died or have yet to be born. 

Every season holds it's sunny days and storms

It's this world of many color

That will let us all go under

Beneath it's crashing waves of golds and greens

While the sun is not yet warm. 

September, don't be jealous of this change. 

It's the course of things for time to rearrange. 

And in the blue, blue sky

Headed south, we'll fly

Until the light fades out from overhead

For the stars to playfully engage. 

Oh, September, won't you linger as you please?

Just deepen into autumn

Darken all your leaves. 

Oh, September, won't you break your easel down?

You're shaming all the artists

That try to paint you in the town. 

September, please oh please,

Don't do this to me,

I'm tired of this summer, of this fall. 

September, are you listening?

All this time is passing, 

Still your lazy sunshine dances on my walls.