Consolidated Cogitation, Rhetorical Rumination.

"Not right tonight, not right tonight!" she cries. 

The air felt thick and heavy. It skulked around the doorway of her room and seeped into the corners, filtering into the pores of her pillows and dangling like mottled compost from the ceiling. It made the temperature plummet, and she shivered under clammy blankets while her thoughts collected and dispersed randomly, the atmosphere making it difficult to to be organized or succinct. 

Why was it not right tonight. 

I am wary of you. I watch you and I listen. You, the destroyer, I hate you. You mock us and shred us to pieces, you poison our minds and mutilate our intents until we are monsters. You despicable filth, you make me sick. I hope you choke on your own misfortune and are forever tortured in the pit of your own waste, you scum of creation. I pray you drown in a sea of agony, with each fiber of your being screaming until your mouth opens up to shriek the most horrible of death songs and fills with the most loathsome detritus beyond imagination. You have no power, you impotent idiot, you foul carrion, king of lies and all that is evil, you have no power. 

Who is there to bring you to justice, oh son of sordid obscenity? 

Look! There arises from the mountain tops a Judge!

"I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth!" Psalms 121:1-2

Here he comes in glory! Make way, make way for the King! The Holy Lamb, the Blameless One, the Pure, the Perfect, the Benevolent Father! He rides on the wings of the wind, the light as his garment and the sea as his mighty staff. Behold his radiant countenance, his righteous form, his incredible strength and powerful hands! Watch with wonder the miraculous deeds he performs, the mercy he shows those who adore him, the blessings he freely gives out of love! Praise Him, all ye nations! Shout with joy at the sight of your Lord! He who is deserving of all honor and devotion is coming, and coming with a vengeance against evil. Woe to those who follow the great traitor! For He who is coming comes with a imposing sword of Truth, behold, the Word!, and will seek to right the wrongs done by the father of arrogance. 

I will follow my Father. Behold, my Father is one of compassion and romance, slow to anger and abounding in love. He cradled me and is now instructing me, teaching me to do His will and pulling me close in his embrace that I may know Him more fully. Do not attempt to pull me astray, for my Father will bring me justice and you will cry out against the day you thought of causing me to sin. I warn you, detestable enemy, stay far from me! For the Light in me will burn you to ashes, and my Great Love will grind you to dust to save me. 

Send me, Lord, send me! Twist me and mold me, shape me! I will go! Let the nations tremble, God, let salvation reach them quickly! Bring swiftness to me feet and boldness to my heart, gentleness to my spirit and conviction in my words! Prepare the hearts of the nation, oh Lord, that they may receive the Message! Send me!

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

Name the Rain

Drip, drip, drip. 

I've been writing a lot of poetry and songs lately. So maybe this time I'll actually write an entry.... or not. 

Look at the sky! Bruised, angry, bitter. It crawls over the horizon like a monster clinging to the side of a skyscraper, thrusting one ugly and bulky fist into the air to clench the ledge above, pulling it inexorably up and up towards the top of the building, towards the spire. Only this is sideways, across the expanse of what should be blue softly melting into purple twilight. Can you hear the monster growl in it's ascent? Can you see the fire it creates in the sky? It's getting angry. 

Drip, drip, drip. 

Job 41:13-21

"Who can strip off its hide, and who can penetrate its double layer of armor? Who could pry open its jaws? For its teeth are terrible! Its scales are like rows of shields tightly sealed together. They are so close together that no air can get between them. Each scale sticks tight to the next. They interlock and cannot be penetrated. When it sneezes, it flashes light! Its eyes are like the red of dawn. Lightning leaps from its mouth; flames of fire flash out. Smoke streams from its nostrils like steam from a pot heated over burning rushes. Its breath would kindle coals, for flames shoot from its mouth."

Oh, the thunder and lightning! It reminds me of dragons. 

"Lock and Key" and smelling of rocks.

"Needing was so easy: it came naturally, like breathing. Being needed by someone else, though, that was the hard part. But as with giving help and accepting it, we had to do both to be made complete— like links overlapping to form a chain, or a lock finding the right key." --page 401

Hello, hello.

Let me pretend I've known you forever. 

The ending doesn't matter any more,

It's the beginning that made us

Who we were, and who we are. 

Hello, hello?

Tomorrow gains its clear appearance

Can you see it is a mirror to today,

I can see the future backwards

Hindsight is so clear to me,

Yeah, you're all out of focus

You don't even notice. 

Uh oh, my mouth just opened,

These thoughts have just become spoken

Way too fast, they come out

Way too fast, but it's truth without a single doubt.

Uh oh, I've gone and cracked myself

Open wide, though I'm nervous

It's too late, now you're inside 

Of me

I thought I was locked, 

But now you've got my key. 

Hello, hello.

I wish I could paint you this picture

Show you life as through my eyes

If you could only understand

That I understand

Then maybe you wouldn't act so surprised.

Hello, hello?

I've emptied out my cluttered past and

I can't seem to get quite past that

Maybe this will take more time that I thought

Everything I have to offer, I've already brought.

Uh oh, my mouth just opened

These thoughts have just become spoken

Way too fast, they come out

Way too fast, but it's truth without a single doubt

Uh oh, I've gone and cracked myself 

Open wide, though I'm nervous

It's too late, I have to swallow my pride,

You see?

I thought I was locked

But now you've got my key.

So many closed doors and closed minds

If I could leave it all behind

In an instant, in only a flash,

Could I throw away the key

To the door of my past?