1:11 AM (make a wish)

Another long day, another late night. But I feel good now. I feel vigilant. The sun is going to rise in a few hours. Maybe I'll wait for it. Maybe I'll close my eyes. But if I close my eyes, I'll miss it; I'll miss the sunrise. How often do I miss things? How often are my eyes closed? I don't know. 

Falling isn't as bad as it seems.

You let go, let go, loosen your hold,

Because there's nothing left to show

And the ground beneath your feet

Is soft, and it slowly crumbles away.

Let's blur the line of reality and dreams,

Close your eyes, close your eyes,

A thousand falls from only one try,

One try that makes your heart stop

But another day keeps you breathing. 

Climb up on your roof and stand,

The sun comes up, comes up slowly

With the world that begins glowing

While you wait, it's always waiting

For you to move, to let you down. 

And sentimental rain drops like sand,

From a weary sky, a weary sky,

Open up the fist that intertwines

The love and distress you're holding,

Because falling isn't as bad as it seems. 

The harder it is, the stronger you'll be.

This semester is shaping up well. Much better than last semester, anyways. I have some really tough classes (ap stat, ap english, and ap us history. yikes!) and I am completely loving the challenge. I'm actually learning something now! But la tarea (yo tengo espanol dos tambien) is really killing me. It's mostly reading that I have to push my way through to get a certain amount done by a certain date. Like, for APUSH, I have four different books I have to read: the classroom textbook, two that I had to go out and pay for out of my pocket, and one that I can hopefully find in the library. Then I'm reading Huck Fin for AP english and had to buy another textbook. And stats, too, comes with reading homework! Even though it's math! How does that work? I haven't gone to bed before 11:30 the past couple nights. Not to mention work. Maybe this grounding thing is good. I wouldn't be able to survive with anything else going on. 

Report cards came out today, and I was so relieved to see that I had done well. My GPA even came up, which is very cool. I sound like a total nerd. Oh well, what can I say, me gusta escuela. 

Ugh, now I work. But it's gotten a whole lot better, praise God. :) Hasta luego! 

And Amanda T: I will try my hardest to reply soon. As in tonight after work. Hopefully. 

Grounded.

Well.

I am grounded for a month. No phone (house or cell), no texts, no email, no ushering, no youth band, no car, no keys, no friends, no parties, no hanging out. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero. Maybe not even Revolution Weekend. :/

So what I'm thinking is God wants to get real with me. I have communication issues. That's why I'm grounded, wrapped up in a nut shell. So I'm going to have to learn to be a better communicator. 

Alas, goodbye for a month. 

"I am in the depths of despair, Marilla."

"The depths of despair?"

"Yes. Haven't you ever been in the depths of despair?"

"No, I have not."

"Couldn't you imagine you were in the depths of despair?"

"No. To despair is to turn your back on God."

--Anne of Green Gables (the movie)