*Gasp*

Omg. I cut all my hair off. Like seriously. It's all gone. I look emo/punk. :0

Successful people are good at "plan B"

So Esther. We aren't sure if Esther wanted to be snatched away from her family to undergo a year of "beauty treatments" and then become queen or not. Let us believe, for all intents and purposes, that she did not want it. But at one point in Esther's story, her cousin Mordecai (sp?) told her "perhaps God put you here for such a time as this." And so even though she didn't want to be there, God wanted her there, and as a result used her for great things. 

Then, on the other hand, you have David. When David was running from Saul (running for his life, really) he hid out in the mountains. And of course, he was miserable. Who wants to hide out in caves for an indeterminable amount of time? So God told David "Hey, you're miserable for a reason- because you're not where I want you to be." Then David left the mountains and went to become king. 

How does any of this relate, you ask? Well, it has seemed lately that I've been smashed between a rock and a hard place. I don't know if I'm where I'm suppose to be when it comes to anything. Work, class, ushering team at church, college... you name it, I'm lost. And I hate where I am. So I'm wonder if I'm Esther, where God needs me to be even though I don't like it, or David, and God's trying to tell me to go do something else because I'm miserable. 

Hence, I've decided to fast Facebook (because I'm addicted... isn't that sad?) and pray, pray, pray for 30 days, or a month. I'm hoping God will have mercy and show me where I'm suppose to be, because obviously I am so hopeless and clueless that it's not even funny. 

Anyways, I have a little break (no work until Wednesday, phew). Tomorrow I might go out with Ashlin and Krystal, two uh-MAZE-ing people that I greatly admire. :) 

Peace. 

And breath...Gooooood.

slienfsldfneislnflsifnwlifnsldjnfvilnvliesnlsdnfilsfjlskdjf

(deep breath in)

SLDFINE lsdifnelisnfSIIIINELFSNLSIGNIEG!!?

(slow breath out)

sleinslief*#lkjsodif@$QO*&Qoijlsfcnq391

(close eyes and breath some more)

now repeat.